We’ve All Been Nikki Parker

“Heyyyyyyyy, Professuh Oglevee!”

Come on, we all know the infamous line… and we all anticipate the very agitated response from Professor Stanley Oglevee.

“Get away from me you schizo!”

“Can I get one moment away from you!?”

“Leave me alone, you grape nut!”

Even after the constant rejections and the offensive insults, Nikki Parker remained convinced that she and the Professor belonged together.

………………I’m sure I’m not the only one who groaned with irritation AND confusion, wondering WHYYYYYY Nikki, as beautiful as she was, subjected herself to such embarrassment for a man who certainly wasn’t allat (all of that).

Now, don’t get me wrong….On one end, I understand the Professor’s frustration. There were moments where he tried to let her down easy. It’s completely okay to not be interested in someone and express that.

One the other end, I’m a bit “miscombobulated” because every time–literally every single time– Nikki lent her attention elsewhere, the Professor could not handle it.

If you all don’t remember those rare occasions, let me jog your memory:

In Season 2 of The Parkers, Nikki was approached by the Professor’s long time friend Kenny. Kenny, who’s apparently used to pulling any woman he desires, attempts to cuff Nikki, but, of course, she rejects him. Offended by that, he makes it his goal to make her fall in love with him to “even the score.” After many bumps in the road, Nikki and Kenny develop a strong affinity for one another, turning her attention from the Professor to her relationship with Kenny. 

Now looking at the Professor’s apparent disdain for Nikki, one would think he’d be excited for their union. But nooooooooo– he becomes extremely jealous. Weird, right?

What’s weirder is, the Professor went as far as telling Nikki he loved her……..but when she eventually dumped Kenny and expressed her love for the Professor, what did he do?

You guessed it: He rejected her!

Fast forward to Season 5- Nikki meets a friend of Andell’s new boy-friend, named Johnnie. After spending some time together, Johnnie and Nikki quickly fall in love with one another. Johnnie eventually proposes to Nikki in hopes that she would move with him to New York for a job opportunity.

Thankfully, Nikki says yes!

Nikki makes it allll the way to the altar….then guess what happens.

You guessed it: the Professor crashes the wedding to profess his love for Nikki.

It was at that very moment that the audience was split into two opposing sides.

One side rejoiced because Nikki finally “got her happy ending.”

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

The other side (yes, I was on this side) burned with anger, cuz GIRL WHAT??? Johnnie was fine, established, and he genuinely loved and appreciated Nikki. It didn’t take him 5 years to see her worth. That could have been an even happier ending, in my opinion.

Let’s be honest: It’s so easy to detach yourself from a character and declare, with confidence, how you’d respond.

But, the bittersweet truth is… we’ve ALL been Nikki Parker.

It’s bittersweet because while Nikki was beautiful, confident and intelligent, she was also a bit of a doormat.

She had such a weakness for the Professor it blurred her good judgment and diminished her dignity, which brings me to a very pertinent question:

Was the Professor actually in love with Nikki or did he simply struggle with the idea of no longer being pursued by her?

We’ll never actually know.

What I’m sure of is many of us have displayed a weakness for a person/ group of people that simply was not logical, lbs.

We have been in Nikki’s shoes– relentlessly pursuing people, hoping they’d eventually see our worth– practically begging to be prioritized in their lives– going above and beyond for our efforts to be reciprocated.

Some of us have even tried to move forward, and even when we did, those same people FINALLY “seemed” to see our worth……..

I used the word “seemed” because in some of those cases, it wasn’t our worth they discovered. It was our actions/ the role we played they missed.

Oh how quickly we have jumped at the opportunity to be needed or wanted by the very people who always seem to make us a last choice.

Many of us have deceived ourselves into thinking that being a person’s last choice is tolerable because “at least we’re a choice, at the end of the day.”

But that is such a terrible perspective to have.

To allow yourself to be treated in such a way implies that certain people are entitled to your time and can choose to have you around when it is convenient for them.

This is why it is so very important to know the difference between being loved/ celebrated vs. tolerated. It is equally important to know the difference between being loved for who you are vs. loved for what you do.

The only way to be able to distinguish between what I just mentioned is to prioritize yourself.

Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean you need to be selfish/ self-indulged.

Prioritizing yourself means doing what best benefits your well-being– taking care of your mind, body, and soul. This would include doing things that build your self-esteem and self-confidence.

As your SELF-acceptance strengthens, your tolerance for anything below your standards automatically weakens.

You may have to make some very hard decisions, such as dropping the people who merely tolerate you. Though this may feel like a loss, it will ultimately cleanse your environment and open the door for people who will see and appreciate who you are.

Who knows what would have happened if Nikki chose Johnnie! He probably would have treated her like queen for the rest of her days. Smh.

But while it may be too late for Nikki, it is not too late for you start from scratch.

Start with assessing your company and making some arrangements.

And if in certain moments, you heart tries to lure you back into toxic circles or into familiar bad habits, remember that your heart can be deceiving. Its desire to be amongst the familiar or in a comfort zone can be masked as the desire to repair burned bridges.

Unless you see changed behavior, DO NOT GO BACK!

So, again, do not settle for the bare minimum. Do not allow yourself to be treated like an afterthought. You’re more than that.

Just like Nikki Parker, you are beautiful, you are vibrant, you are intelligent, you MATTER, and you deserve to be loved and celebrated.